three scotchmen

three scotch went to church. everything was fine until the collection basket was passed.i

they immediately whispered for a while and solved the difficulty . one fainted, and the other two carried him out.i

the poor man and the rich man

a poor man went to the house of a rich man and asked for a piece of bread . the rich man said : "we have no dread in the house."i

 please give me a little of last nights food."i" _

 there is nothing left. we ate eat all."i" _

 at least give me some water to drink."i" _

the water is finished."i" _

will you give me a panny to buy bread?"i" _

I havent any money now."i " _

at last the poor man the poor man said :"well as you have nothing in the house you can come with me and we will beg together.i

the man and the lion

a man and a lion once argued together as to wich belonged to the noble race.

the former called the attention of the lion to a monument on which was sculptured a man striding over a vanquished lion."that proves nothing at all" said the lion , " if a lion had been the carver , he would have made the lion striding over the man".

defense

one day a judge told a prisoner who had a strong body : you are accused of killing , do you want to defend yorself ?i

the accused man said : yes open my bracelets and then you will see how I defend myself.

     two for the price of one

people say that the scots do not like to spend money , and that when they do spend money they like to get as much as they can for it .

there are many stories about this . here is one of them :

in the royal albert hall _ a large concert  hall in london _ there are a few seats where you can hear every sound twice because there is an echo. these seats are always taken by scotsmen , who can then hear a concert twice for the price of one ticket

.

                                           you are right

as judge of his village . mullah nasraddin was trying a case

listening to the plaintiff . he said :you are right.

listening to the defendant . he said : you are right.

the clerk of the court bend down and whispered to judge :

but mullah . they cant both be right to which .

mullah replied : you are right too

.

               a silly donkey

one day a man went to his neighbour and asked him to lend him donkey . for a few hours . the man who did not want to lend his donkey . sayed : the donkey is not here my friend has taken it out to day.

at this time they heard the donkey braying . the man sayed : you said just now that the donkey was out . what is this braying then?i

the neighbour became angry and sayid: what kind of a man are you ? you dont believe the words of an old man like me . but you believe the braying of a silly donkey ?i

سلام دوستان طاعات و عباداتتون قبول باشه

این اولین جمله ی من در اولین وبلاگم تحت عنوان آموزش زبان انگلیسیه ...

همونطوری از اسمش پیداست میخوام برای خودم و خودتون یه کلاس زبان انگلیسی بذارم (که البته به صورت کاملا اختیاریه) که انشاالله سطح زبانمون پیشرفت کنه ...

اول از همه کمی راجع به خودم بگم اسم من حسینه فکر نکنید که من یا استاد دانشگاه یا استاد تافل یا هر چیز دیگه ای باشم نه من یه دانش آموز ساده سال سوم دبیرستانم .

ببخشید ولی من کوچکتر از اونم که بخوام برای شما کلاس بذارم و مثلا استادتون بشم نه من فقط میخوام به عنوان یک بانی با ایجاد یک فضای علمی دوستانه اطلاعات خودمونو بیشتر کنیم از الان بگم که فقط من نمیخوام اطلاعات خودمو رو وب بذارم شما هم  میتونید اطلاعات خودتونو در قسمت نظرات بذارید که هم من و هم بقیه از اون استفاده کنیم ...